I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
