Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
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2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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