okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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