I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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