I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
