He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You are the jesus of drinking
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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