Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
please don't ironically join a cult
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