tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
