i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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