omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
