Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
