he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
