hell yes lets make some ravioli
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
