We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
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i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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