I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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