I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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