I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
