; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
