Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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