I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
