So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
