is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
