Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
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Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.