That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
