I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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