Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
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chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
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Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So vagazzling was a success
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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