Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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