Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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