omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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