Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
