two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
