Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have aggressive nipples.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
