I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
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I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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