if i can run in heels then i can drive
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
