I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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