Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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