I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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