So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
