How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
