It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
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It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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