all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
