I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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