I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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