why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Where is the hickey?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
