I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
