I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
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It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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