operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize