Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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