Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize