we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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