It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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