ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Never underestimate the power of titties
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
