This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
