i may or may not be watching the land before time
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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