can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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